personality

Our kids showed their personalities almost from day 1. You wonder, you know, whether personality is determined by environment, or if it’s simply who you are. I’m more inclined to the latter, if our kids are any indication. The way they fussed as babies, the way they reacted to being touched, how cuddly they wanted to be.

J is helping me put together this IKEA toy shelf unit. Her serious side is showing here, which is her normal approach to a lot of things. She likes to analyze, to figure out a situation before jumping in. But I was impressed by how truly helpful she was at putting it together, and that she seemed to show a real sense of ‘grok’ing how the pieces fit together and what piece belonged where.

It was late (9:30PM, I believe) and we were still up, putting this thing together. I always worry that she’ll hurt herself on something, because I’ve seen her walk around and fall down, I’ve seen her bump into or trip over things that are in plain sight, and so on. Her hands only slipped off the bolts a couple of times while using the allen key, and she was alright. It’s funny that I worry about her, because she’s such a tough cookie when it comes to injuries. When she was little and in nursery, she was playing with a toy shopping cart and she did an endo. Up and over the cart, crashing onto the floor. She didn’t even cry, she just got up.

Anyway, I guess I’m trying to wrestle with this whole over-protective thing. I don’t think I am, but maybe I can’t see it. J tries to push her limits constantly, of course, which doesn’t help. Am I being overprotective if i don’t want her to rush headlong into the street? Probably not. But what about if she’s going down the stairs on her own? Is she going to fall (as she has already done more than once)? Sometimes as a parent you wonder where this line is, when you’re being too protective, too sheltering, and then too lenient, too out of control? My personality, I guess.

I love this quote, and I share it for all you parents and parents-to-be out there:

“Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.” – Elizabeth Stone

In my case, I have two.

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7 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by candeo on 2006/09/17 at 8:16 PM

    great quote. i’ll tuck it away for future reference.

    Reply

  2. Posted by kbushling on 2006/09/17 at 11:44 PM

    That quote is so relevant! I know that I will want to put my children in a bubble to protect them from everything in this world.

    I know that I wish I could do that with my niece so that she would never have to feel any sadness, hurt, anger or frustration.

    But I guess if I took that away, then she would never have the opportunity to experience happiness, joy and love, right?

    *sigh* I truly admire all parents out there for how they just allow their children to live & grow up!

    Reply

  3. Posted by divine_conspiracy on 2006/09/18 at 1:12 AM

    it’s tough, I tell ya. But it’s so worth it.

    Reply

  4. Posted by candeo on 2006/09/18 at 2:15 AM

    are you sure? i’m not sure about the ‘worth it’ part yet. =)

    Reply

  5. Posted by divine_conspiracy on 2006/09/18 at 11:28 AM

    well, somebody has to look after you in your old age…

    Reply

  6. Posted by Melody on 2006/09/18 at 1:43 PM

    This post really resonated with me. I have really struggled with this since IJ became mobile. I tend to “hover” around her and not really let her explore on her own. But a few days ago when I let her wander into the bathroom on her own, she stuck her hands in the toilet….and it hadn’t been flushed!! So much for that. I also agree about the personalities being shown at an early age. IJ is such a character and I can’t wait to see what she is like as a toddler! She continues to bellow and screech loudly to greet everyone.

    Reply

  7. Posted by divine_conspiracy on 2006/09/18 at 2:42 PM

    what’s even worse is, throw in a parent whose personality tends towards micromanaging, and then pretty soon you’re barking orders like a drill sargeant and getting frustrated as to why they won’t listen to you…

    one of the keys we learned is: redirect, redirect, redirect. While they’re still little you can distract them and redirect them to an activity or area that’s safe. But that all disappears when they turn, oh, two or so… 🙂

    Reply

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